r.i.p. gandalf

this april it will be ten years since Gandalf passed away. even now when I start to think about him, I feel a deep sadness, regret, and pain. he was such a sweet, happy, nice bunny. he loved to eat pellets, hay, and vegetables, especially broccoli. he loved getting pets and neck rubs. I wish I could have given him a better life. He lived outside in the yard in a hutch by himself. we built a little running area, but I didn’t always make time to take him out for that. later, I went to college, and he only got to come out once a week when I came back on the weekends. I felt bad for him, so I moved him to the side yard of our house, where another bunny used to live many years ago. he ran away once, but I found him and brought him back. then I came back home one Friday night. I was thinking of going to visit him but then never did. in the morning, my mom woke me up and told me, “I’m so sorry, Gandalf is dead.” what? how can that be? are you sure? “something attacked him…” my mom had put a rag over him so I didn’t have to see it. but I touched the rag. I felt his hard body. I dug a hole to bury him in our yard.

I feel so much regret for what happened. I should’ve known there were cats and other creatures in our neighborhood. I shouldn’t have left him out there, unprotected. later when I started volunteering at a bunny shelter and fostering rabbits, everyone agreed that it wasn’t safe to leave your rabbits out unsupervised. some people even heard of rabbits being picked up out of yards by birds of prey. and before he lived out in the side yard, he shouldn’t have been left alone in a hutch. rabbits are social creatures and are much happier when they have friends. we should have adopted a friend for him to have. he should have been a house rabbit. he would’ve been such a happy house rabbit.

I wish I could go back in time and save him. in college, I started fostering rabbits in my dorm room. that could have been Gandalf there with me. Cameron says I wouldn’t have helped as many rabbits or had such a heart for house rabbits if he didn’t die. it’s hard though. it’s hard to get over what happened. I don’t know if I ever will. but with every rabbit I’ve fostered and now with my three adopted house rabbits, I try my best to give them the best life, the most happiness, lots of pets and attention; all the things I wish I could’ve given to Gandalf. rest in peace, Gandalf.